Saturday, June 26, 2010

That F*ing Flute

I've mentioned off and on that I've been playing the Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks on my DS when I get a chance. Well, I've finally finished it, but not in the traditional sense of completion. More like the "screaming expletives at it, throwing the cartridge across the room" sort of completion. Let me explain.

Spirit Tracks is a great successor to the Phantom Hourglass, the other stylus-based DS Zelda game. Some slight improvements are seen and the overworld map is now navigated by a series of railroad tracks rather than a boat in the ocean. It ends up being the same sort of thing, no complaints there. The same tap and swipe gestures return for sword fighting along with the excellent, "tap and hold where you want to go" control scheme. But this one has a #*%@ing Spirit Flute that you have to use the stylus & microphone to control. You need coordination between the touchscreen and (everyone's favorite) blowing into the microphone. That works fine when you have to play notes that are next to each other or don't need to be done in any sort of rhythm. Guess what you need to do to beat the last boss.

I somehow stumbled my way through all the other mandatory rhythm-game parts to enter each temple. But the last one was the last straw. To compound the issue, I had just done an elaborate series of fetch quests to power up my sword to be able to do a Super Spin Attack that helps a great deal with a different part of the last boss battle. While you could beat him without it, I could never get the timing exactly right in about 20 tries.

So I'll never know what happened to the Lokomos or if the world was ever saved from the...mysterious evil because I have no rhythm. you and die!

P.S. Here's another person that had the exact same problem I did but managed to give a better explanation of the microphone problem and use a few less expletives.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Mario Kart Junkie


I had a few days to kill between GameFly games, so when I had some free time I actually had to choose what I wanted to play instead of just unthinkingly turning on whatever rented game I had. Because time is money, ya know? Most times my choice was Mario Kart Wii.

Now, I've long ago filled up my scorecard thing with gold on the single player, so I always play online with strangers. One of the few games I do this with, I might mention. Probably because there's no voice chat and it's free. The system they've put in place for online Vs. matches is pure genius and pure evil, however. Everyone starts at 5000 points. You gain points by winning, lose points by losing. Do well in a match with people with more points than you and you gain even more points (and vice versa).

I'd made my way up to 7000 and hovered around there for a while when it came out. I got mad when I dropped below that nice round number, and I felt good about myself if I kept above it. Lately I've been hemorrhaging points. I dropped to 6000 and felt mostly apathy, feeling like nothing I did would make me stop losing. But then I won a lucky one and gained over a hundred points. My brain got excited and told me that if I just do that a few more times I'll be back on top in no time!

And this is where we realize I have a problem. I hear that gambling addicts go through something similar. They focus on their big wins and how good it makes them feel while ignoring the misery of the losses. Now, I'm not sure it's quite the same, since in online Mario Kart, the house won't win in the end, will it? But do I suffer through the game cheating and attacks on my self esteem by connecting my sense of self worth to a number? No. I'm through. No more Mario Kart for me.

Well, maybe just one more game.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Red Dead Revisited

I didn't realize it at the time, but I was essentially finished with the main storyline of Red Dead a couple days ago, when the progress-meter was at about the 70% mark. I'm not going to spoil the plot, but suffice to say that after you defeat the last boss, the story essentially becomes this weird sort of drawn-out and annoying episode of Lassie. I'm not kidding, you'll see when you get there. Then there's one more minor boss battle at the "actual" end of the plot, which left me saying "huh? that's it?" as the credits rolled.

Still, it's a really excellent game, and worth your time to check out. As I was playing along, I made a list of noteworthy things I did or saw:

  • Saw better scenery, sky, and weather effects than almost any other game I can think of... but also realized that they haven't mastered the technology for animating women's clothing yet.
  • Spent all my money on the best horse in the game, only to find I already had that horse.
  • Spent all my money on an upgraded gun, only to find the same gun on a dead guy 30 seconds later.
  • Survived dozens of bullet wounds, but died instantly upon touching ankle-deep water.
  • Spent roughly half of the in-game money I earned just to unlock new places to save the game from.
  • Played through half the game before figuring out how to fast-travel, then hardly ever used it since a) it's cumbersome and slow, and b) watching the scenery go by is so cool.
  • Picked more flowers and skinned more animal carcasses than I care to count.
  • Watched enough cutscenes to make at least three westerns.
  • Gave up on the in-game challenges once I reached level 5: "Kill two cougars with a knife."
  • Killed about 500 bad guys with a gatling gun, which was surprisingly tedious and non-fun.
  • Saw two NPCs "doing it".
  • Lassoed a hooker from off a porch, threw her on my horse, rode over to the tracks, dumped her in front of an oncoming train, and got an achievement for it. Yup, it's a Rockstar game.
  • Drove my cat crazy whenever I made my character whistle to summon his trusty horse.
  • Accidentally drove my trusty horse over a cliff to its death... but not to worry, just whistle and his identical clone will come running up so you can hop on (?!)
  • Ran errands for an infinite number of NPCs who each promised to advance the plot (but hardly ever did).
  • Got stuck on world geometry when trying to run through a door into a gunfight, and died (happened to me a lot).
  • Pressed the wrong button and accidentally drew my gun on a lawman or bystander, thus turning me into a wanted criminal (this happened a lot too).
  • Played a cow-herding minigame that was surprisingly well done.
  • Saw an NPC grabbing a horse penis.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall

I was spurred on to play Heavy Rain because of some reviews that said it was a new kind of game that really just needed to be experienced. "Interactive Drama" was thrown around a few times, I believe. Let me back up a bit though. I played, and found a lot to like, with the developer's previous outing Indigo Prophecy. What you're asked to do in the two is similar. Walk around and find clues, then participate in quick time events while your character does things behind your button presses. Indigo Prophecy had the same problem with this that God of War does, I ended up focusing completely on what buttons I need to press next that I barely register what's happening in the "background" which is the entire story. Thankfully Heavy Rain makes the button prompts and controller gestures much less intrusive and it leads to a much more enjoyable experience.

This game deals with some dark, heavy stuff. Sure there's the mundane, everyday actions that people have complained about having to walk your character through, like shaving or making dinner. But you also encounter suicide, depression, serial killers, drugs, etc. I felt like I was watching a decent movie that I might have seen before but couldn't quite remember how everything ended up. Several characters are very well fleshed out and feel as real as any in a movie. The private eye, Scott Shelby, was my favorite. He's noble and a bit worn down by all his years.

There are some minor technical issues that attempt to get in the way of my enjoyment of the game, like the too close camera and wonky walking controls in tight spaces. But the overall feel of the game is fantastic. It's depressing sometimes, but it mostly feels real and alive. The story is very linear but you're given a few points where you can make it deviate a little. It doesn't seem to be enough to make me want to play through it again, but I'm about 3/4 of the way through. We'll see how I feel after I finish.